This week has been one of those weeks. I've had highs so high I could touch the stars.
I've also had lows so low I feel as if I'm in the center of the Earth.
I should explain. I have a lot of doubt when it comes to my writing. I'm not overly confident by any means. However, this week, I received my first review. (See Reviews for details.) It was 5 hearts and I cried. I was overjoyed and overwhelmed all in one fell swoop. I love Ana and Bowie. I know there others out there who love them as well, but the sheer disbelief is still there. The fact I'm published still baffles me.
I spent 8 hours (no, that is not a typo) talking to a friend last week. It was the first time we'd talked other than via the computer. This friend had called because she needed to vent, but by the time our conversation ended, I felt uplifted. It's such an incredible feeling!
My characters are talking to me again. I'd had to shut them out for a little while so I could focus on school, but they're back. I finished Adam's book and intended to start the third one. However, the third one isn't the one I thought it would be. Instead, another character has jumped the line and is begging to have his story told. I love it and hate it all at once.
Then, my mom called the other day. We don't talk as often as we probably should, but our schedules are extremely hectic at the moment. My step-dad is feeling better so they're planning a trip to come visit. It will only be for the weekend (he's on dialysis) and I may only get to spend a day with them, but I haven't seen my mom in almost 2 years. I'm so excited and I hope everything keeps going well so the trip isn't cancelled.
You can see where my heart overflows, right?
What brought me so down? Well, let me tell you. I'm turning 40 in less than a month. Usually the big birthdays don't bother me, but for some reason, 40 is hitting me hard. I don't know what it is exactly. I think it's just a lot of little things I'm realizing will never happen at this age. I don't feel 40 (which is a good thing) and I've been told I don't look 40 so what's the big deal? I think it's just the doubts, fears, and thoughts every woman has as she heads towards this age.
However, I do know I'm blessed.
"WRITE YOUR TROUBLES IN THE SAND.
CARVE YOUR BLESSINGS IN STONE."
I'm trying to live my this motto because how many people get to work at the job they love? Not many. I get to research hot men, good chocolate, and fantastic food all while writing some pretty lovely sex scenes. Not a complaint to be had. I think I'm going to spend my day with a chisel and a hammer. I've got a lot of carving to do.
Have a blessed weekend!