This has not been my week. I have had the one setback that I simply couldn't afford at this juncture. I found out that I have maxed out my loans and can no longer afford to be in school.
To say my heart is broken is putting it lightly. My heart is shattered and my soul is grieving. I have been on this journey for so long and now...now, I'm lost.
I haven't been this lost in years. For the first time in my life, I had a dream of my own to focus on. I had a vision. I had faith. I had hope.
Hope...it's funny that everyone keeps telling me to keep my faith strong, my hope alive, and be patient. For someone like me, that's very hard to do. I'm very much the perfectionist overachiever. Without a dream to work toward, I'm at a loss of what I'm supposed to focus on.
I've cried so much over this, but it seems as if the yellow brick road is covered in brambles again and is a bit broken up at the moment. However, that poppy field over yonder is looking pretty comfortable and it may be just what I need at the moment. Find my new purpose. Focus on what needs to be done. And maybe the yellow brick road can be repaired.
Maybe the passion will return and I'll be back to myself in no time. Maybe, just maybe, hope will float up.
