Without a date in sight, I've had to work past the fear that I may never return to school. That means putting a lot of my dreams aside and looking at the future. However, that made me sad and my depression amped back up. So, I had to look at where I am and learn to make the best of every single day.
See, I have a job that I really don't care for, but there's a problem...I'm good at it! LOL I don't despise it like I did. It just isn't where I want to be. I keep being told there is a reason I am in this place, so I'm learning to just go with it. I don't mind the people like I did. I've learned that I am more like my grandmother than I ever dreamed possible. Hahahaha
This job requires me to take care of myself a bit better. I need to look a particular way when I go to work which means that I have to pay a bit more attention to me. I polish my nails, put on make-up, do my hair, and dress nicer. I interact with people who aren't always the kindest people, yet I get some people who absolutely make my day. So, not only am I learning to be kinder to myself, I'm learning to be kinder to others.
I've also got some downtime. Lately, I've been using it to just push past the brick wall in front of which I find myself. I may have to take it apart brick by brick, but I'll get through it somehow.
However, I've also been writing. Yes, actually working on a book! No promises on when it will be finished. I've got a tough scene coming up and it is tearing me apart to write it, but it needs to be done. I've also been working on redesigning the covers so that they reflect more of me and my style. I've waffled back and forth quite a bit about changing my author name. After my divorce, I just don't feel right about using the last name, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.
So, I haven't forgotten about you, this blog, or the books. I've just had a lot on my mind that needed to be worked through. While I'm still a long way from finished, I am feeling better day by day.
