Sunday, March 22, 2015

Plot Twist...or Not

We've all seen the meme that says "When something goes wrong in your life, yell "Plot Twist" and move on." But what do you do when everything goes wrong? Cry "Do over"?

So many times, I've thought I've had this life figured out. Then one thing happens to change the path. The last couple of times this has happened, my world fell apart simply because too many things changed. This is how the last month or so has been. I'm trying to rebuild some semblance of a life, but the struggle makes me question "Am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing?"

Last week, I applied for a job. Ten minutes after submitting my online application, I got a phone call from the company asking for an interview. (Good sign) I went for the interview and got lost. Ended up over 5 miles away from where I needed to be, still made it to interview with 1 minute to spare. (Good sign). The interview went well. They called me the next day and offered me a job. (Very good sign). They're willing to work around my class schedule. (Even better sign).

I had a horrible cough on Tuesday and wasn't feeling well. (Bad sign) I skipped two of my three classes. Ended up missing the rest of the week and staying in bed/couch/chair, hacking up a lung or two. Feeling miserable still, but on the mend. I've been told that the events of the last month have finally caught up to me. This is the universe's way of telling me to take some time to heal my body. It could be. I just wonder, you know?

Now, I'm looking for a different place to live. What am I discovering? I can't find anything that I can afford that will allow my miniature horse of a dog.(Bad sign) You know? The one male who has been there consistently for the last six years? The one who loves me no matter what?, I'm stuck in this house with the upstairs neighbors from hell. Which means I need to lawn mower and a rake so I can take care of the lawn like I'm supposed to.

I'm supposed to state my desires to the universe with intention every day so here's the biggest one: I want romance! I want to know what happiness and love feels like! I want a man who loves me as much as I love him. I want to hold hands. I want to kiss until neither of us can catch our breath. I want to know what it is like to be so thoroughly loved that I forget my own name. I want flowers for no reason except "I saw these and thought of you." I want to share a bottle of wine with someone who is going to celebrate my successes and let me cry at my failures. He will know the three spots on my body to make my toes curl. And when he shows up, I will know I want to take that walk down the aisle and know that the man at the end of it intends to love me for the rest of our lives. I never said it would be easy, but I do know that I am worth it!

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