The Last Two Weeks

While I know there are people out there who have had worse weeks than I have, the last two weeks have been very hard at my house.
We have had a sick puppy for about a month, but there was really nothing that could be done. She was simply getting old. 

Klondike ended up having to be carried outside to go potty in her last 3 days. And she really loved it because she has always believed she was a princess (which she was). Her last day on this earth, she and I laid in the sun out in the soft green grass. I told her all of the things I probably had told her over the years, but needed repeating. That night, she fell asleep and passed on to the Rainbow Bridge. Our hearts ache at losing our baby, but we know she's able to run and be with her brother and sisters.

Because she had to be carried out, the hubby would carry her out at night while I was sleeping. One of those nights, he re-injured his back. I mean, bad enough that he's lucky to get out of bed long enough to go potty and hobble back to bed. Everything falls on to me at this point. Because of the erratic schedule of his sleeping (because of the pain), I am cooking 3 different meals for the 2 of us, plus running and fetching for him, not to mention all of the other million things that need to be done during the day.

I'm worn out, run down, and on the verge of breaking. A friend told me that was the good part of being a human being: we fall apart and mend.

I've also been looking for a job which means my spare time is spent filling out applications online with very little writing getting done. That's the hard part of living in the U.P....not a lot of job prospects out there.

So, you know where I've been the last two weeks...on the verge of a breakdown. 

Life in the Slow Lane

As most of you know, life in my house is seldom boring. With the dogs, two college students, and writing, I tend to live life in the slow lane, but never boring.
This last weekend, my darling hubby and I celebrated 21 years since our first date. Yes, 21 years! We determined that this was the date that never ended :) We picked up pizza and some movies with friends, then spent the entire evening together. A month later, he presented me with his dad's bloodstone ring and made his intent very clear...he was going to marry me. We celebrated the anniversary with...well, pizza and a movie. It seemed appropriate.
However, on Friday morning, we woke up to our oldest girl hardly being able to walk. I hoped and prayed for the best, but at the age of seventeen, there wasn't a lot of hope to hold out for. By Saturday night, we knew we would be making a trip to the vet's office on Monday morning to tell our precious girl goodbye. 

Jasmine

Jasmine and her constant companion, Rupert the Rat

Let me tell you a little bit about Jazzy. She may not look like it, but she was ferocious...if you were trying to hurt her dad OR if you were fuzzy. I can't tell you how many rabbits this lovable face killed. She would hunt them down with her sisters, then she'd kill the rabbit, bring it to me and drop it at my feet. Yeah, like that is the gift I want :) Even her inside toys were stuffed and fuzzy. 
Jazzy also had a penchant for counter surfing when she was younger. She ate an entire pound of butter and a loaf of bread. She ate an entire bag of 3 Musketeer minis (wrappers and all) that we had bought for trick or treaters. We had shiny poo in the yard for a week. One Yuletide, I had bought my husband a one pound bag of macadamia nuts (his absolute favorite). I left the bag on the floor, thinking it was trash. Jazzy, during the night, ate the entire bag. Never got sick. I swear her stomach had to be made of steel.
As much as we miss her, 17 is a good age for my special little mutt. She led a good life and was spoiled each and every day.
Now, life is a little off kilter here, but we are moving forward. We are even considering the possibility of adding to our crazy family in the future. 
But for now, things are settled down and I'm back to life in the slow lane. The sun is shining. The snow is gone. Temperatures are beginning to climb. Life in the slow lane isn't all that bad.

Farewell, my darling daughter

Yesterday, I awoke to one of the saddest things in my life. My darling canine daughter, Kodiak, had crossed the Rainbow Bridge.

She was our first canine kid. In fact, I often told her she started this whole mess :) The backstory to Kodiak coming to live with us is this:

In 1998, I had gone through everything I could handle to try and conceive a child. We decided to buy a house for the time when the blessed event would occur. We moved into our house in November of 1998. November 15, my doctor phoned to tell me that she couldn't see the reason, but from test results, it appeared as if I would never have children. (A doctor later would tell me she believed it had to do with my father being exposed to Agent Orange while in Vietnam.) I was devastated. My whole life, I wanted to be a mom. Adoption was a pipe dream and way out our way, pay-wise.

In December, my husband came home from work with an idea. What if we got a dog? I hemmed and hawed, not sure that was the answer. Finally, I said, why not? We had a huge backyard and plenty of time. Isn't it funny that a guy the hubby worked with just happened to have brand-new chow mix puppies to give away? *grin*

New Year's Eve 1998, my husband went to work. He had to work until noon (loads of overtime), but he was bringing home a puppy when he returned. Because we were set for a HUGE snowstorm, I had him pick up a collar, leash, puppy food, etc., to get us through. He came home with this little wriggly ball of black fuzz. He handed her to me and I fell in love. He said, "Here's your daughter." I snuggled her and cried. She promptly peed on me :) 

For 14 years, we were blessed with Kodiak. Never a day went by that we regretted bringing her home. We loved her with everything we had and spoiled her rotten. (We've done that with all of our canine kids.) She's moved with us from our house to her grandma's house to three different places in Pennsylvania, out to Oklahoma, back to her grandpa's, and here to the U.P.

I miss her so much. There is a Kodiak-size hole in our family. I told my husband last night, "I don't know how to be a mom to 4. We've always had 5." 

Farewell, my darling daughter. We love you and will miss you until we meet again at Rainbow Bridge. Kiss your brother and sister when you get there. Tell Dad I love him. We'll see you again.