Holding Space

The other day I was having a conversation with a friend. Things have been going fairly well, but there are things that are weighing on my heart. This world and the situation we find ourselves in isn't helping.

My friend told me to "Just sit in this situation for now. Get your balance. Build that foundation." And that was just the advice I needed.

My life isn't in a bad place. I'm financially doing just fine. I've got a few things on my plate, but nothing I can't handle. However, I need to deal with what's there before adding anything more. This means I need to hold space for myself for a little bit.

I'm working on letting go of things and people who no longer allow me to live my best life. I'm trying to release the past and live where I am. I'm finding the things I'm passionate about and letting them be what I focus on when my anxieties are riding high. Most of all, I'm learning to dream again. 

I wish I could explain to you how good that feels. I had given up on so many things lately. Instead of thriving where I was planted, I was surviving and only just. However, lately, I've been doing things I would never dream of doing before. I've signed up for a project that will take me so far out of my comfort zone that I can't see how I will return from it unchanged. I'm beginning to see the direction I want to steer this ship of mine. 

But for now, I'm allowing the waves to lap at my hull as I sit in the safe harbor where I'm anchored. And I'm holding space...for myself for a change. 

I'm so used to holding space for other people. So often, I just let my problems and my shit be pushed down so I can help those I love most. But if I have learned anything from this journey, I've learned that I cannot give from an empty cup. I cannot nourish you while starving myself. 

So, for now, I'm working on things that make me happy. (Including a new blog called "What Makes You Beautiful-Going Beyond the Looking Glass" It's a blog about finding your beauty at any age.) I'm allowing the dreams to come and who knows where I'll end up. I just hope you all stick around for the crazy journey!