Highlight Reels

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. My insecurities and black moods have been bad. I've spent time meditating and getting away from technology. I've even turned off my phone.

I know what you're thinking...if you're depressed, is shutting out the entire world the answer? For me, it is. See, I, like a lot of people, compare my life to everyone else's. This friend has an amazing family life. This friend is having a great time with friends and family. Another friend got a wonderful job promotion. Yet another one bought a beautiful new home. Another is on a vacation with the love of their life. I'm looking at everyone's highlight reels.

Life is made up of all kinds of moments, but we tend to only share the great ones with our online friends. They don't see our struggles, our loneliness, our arguments, or our sacrifices. We don't get to see everyone's blooper reel or behind the scenes moments. 

I'm guilty of the same things. I made the Dean's List, but what you don't know is how hard I've struggled to get there. You don't know that this is the first semester that I haven't been on academic probation since transferring to this school. I got a promotion at work, but you don't see how much I despise going to this job every day or the fact that I often cry when I come home from this job. I post a bunch of things about keeping your faith strong, yet my faith falters constantly. I am not nearly as strong as I pretend to be. 

As proud of myself as I am, I compare my life to everyone else's. I'm not proud that I do that, but I do. No one has walked the same path that I have nor have I walked theirs. They don't know the struggles I've faced nor do they know mine.

I guess my words of advice are these: When I say "Be humble and kind," I don't mean you should be that to only others. Be humble and kind to yourself as well. Not everyone's life is made up of perfect moments. Don't compare your life to theirs. Your journey is your journey. Their journey is theirs. No two lives are the same. No two struggles are the same. Be proud of your life and what has led you to the place you're in. Stand proud! Stand strong! The bad times don't last forever, but neither to the good ones. Life is about learning moments. So, what will you learn from yours?

In Not Of...

My mother once told me, "Be in the world, not of it." I've pondered on this a lot lately. I've noticed more of my old-fashioned values and style bleeding through. I just cannot change that. I was raised in a very different manner than some and I cannot become less than I was raised to be.

This meme has been in my feed a lot lately. It may be the universe is sending me a message that I need to pay attention to. So, I'm going to share it with you:

I've been questioning my purpose here in this Life a lot lately. My mom sent me a message saying "I wish your mirror showed you just how incredible a woman you are!!  The day will come when you see that you have made this world a better place just by being in it...I can hardly wait." Maybe that is all my purpose is...being a part of this world.

It may be that I paid a compliment to someone who was having a bad day. It may be the smile I give to someone walking down the street. Maybe it is taking an extra moment to look at their son's wedding pictures though you've never met him. Maybe it is touching the arm of that cute boy in math class to assure him that he's not alone on this journey. Maybe it's turning off your technology and connecting with the man with that charismatic smile. Maybe it's holding the baby of the mother who is trying to shop but can't because the baby is too fussy. Maybe, just maybe, it's changing people's lives in little ways. And even more important, maybe it isn't the fact that you are changing theirs, maybe it is that these people are changing you!

So, for today, maybe we could all practice being in the world, but not of it.

Bright blessings to you and yours!

Buttons

Yesterday, I was playing on Pinterest before work. It was an attempt to de-stress before I walked into the job that I loathe. There was a couple of pics of buttons that caught my eye. I thought "Hmmm...interesting, but why are these in my feed? I haven't pinned anything crafty in...well, forever." If there had been only a few pics, I'd have let them go. However, the more I scrolled, the more buttons there were. I said "Okay, I hear ya!" and I started a board specifically for buttons.

What this process did was open a vast well of memories. Sitting with my mom at her sewing machine with a needle, thread, and her button box, threading buttons onto the string while she sewed clothes. Going through my grandma's button boxes searching for treasures. For me, every button told a story.

 

Button boxes are things of the past, I think. However, I have a button box from my grandma. In it is a set of buttons from a pair of her mother's shoes, buttons from my mother's childhood dresses, a button from an old military uniform plus buttons from my grandpa's shirts. I also have a button box that belonged to my mom. There are buttons from the many clothes she made over the years. 

See I love the smell of these button boxes. That musty smell that only comes with age. But it is the fact that each button in those boxes tells a story. Even the ones that are still on the cards that my mom had purchased. I wrote my grandma a poem about her button box one year. Yeah, that's how much I love the stories and memories lovingly tucked inside each of these boxes.

A year or so ago, someone very dear to me went to a garage sale. They will claim that they had no idea why they bought me the gift that they did. They just saw it and thought it might be something I'd enjoy. I opened the top of the old Ball jar with the old metal and wax lid and sniffed as deeply as if they were a bouquet of the most exotic flowers. Inside was a bunch of buttons. Wooden ones, metal ones, resin ones, and even some painted ones. They are so beautiful and so special to me.

In an age of underappreciated things and often overlooked items, button boxes, to me, are the treasure troves filled with memories and stories. So whatever the universe was trying to tell me, I heard. 

Buttons, people, are my special obsession. Always have been and seems like it always will be.