In Not Of...

My mother once told me, "Be in the world, not of it." I've pondered on this a lot lately. I've noticed more of my old-fashioned values and style bleeding through. I just cannot change that. I was raised in a very different manner than some and I cannot become less than I was raised to be.

This meme has been in my feed a lot lately. It may be the universe is sending me a message that I need to pay attention to. So, I'm going to share it with you:

I've been questioning my purpose here in this Life a lot lately. My mom sent me a message saying "I wish your mirror showed you just how incredible a woman you are!!  The day will come when you see that you have made this world a better place just by being in it...I can hardly wait." Maybe that is all my purpose is...being a part of this world.

It may be that I paid a compliment to someone who was having a bad day. It may be the smile I give to someone walking down the street. Maybe it is taking an extra moment to look at their son's wedding pictures though you've never met him. Maybe it is touching the arm of that cute boy in math class to assure him that he's not alone on this journey. Maybe it's turning off your technology and connecting with the man with that charismatic smile. Maybe it's holding the baby of the mother who is trying to shop but can't because the baby is too fussy. Maybe, just maybe, it's changing people's lives in little ways. And even more important, maybe it isn't the fact that you are changing theirs, maybe it is that these people are changing you!

So, for today, maybe we could all practice being in the world, but not of it.

Bright blessings to you and yours!

Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018

We are two days out from the new year and I'm sitting at my laptop in sheer disbelief. This year has flown by. I've been doing a bit of looking back over the last year and counting my blessings. 

I've learned a lot about myself this year. I've learned that I've got ambition and courage. I've stood up for myself and found the drive for success that I wondered if it ever existed. I stepped outside of my comfort zone and made friends. I made myself a priority in my own life. And you know what? It made a huge difference. I focused on healthier eating, taking my vitamins on a regular basis, drinking more water, studied my ass off, and took the time to make a difference in my own life. I tried some different recipes and am pretty proud of myself. I eat a lot more veggies. (Pinterest has decided that I'm Asian because of the Asian recipes I have pinned.) I have made an effort to purchase clothing that flatters me and my body.

I've always been one to put others first. As a lifetime caregiver, I'm so used to putting others health and wellbeing above my own. But I found myself worn out and run down. I was mentally destroyed, emotionally broken, and physically torn apart at the seams. I had been so focused on everyone else in my life...their needs, their wants, their desires...that I neglected myself for far too long. 

2018 is my year! It will be the year I continue my journey toward self-care and making myself a priority. It means focusing on my education and my health. It means making changes that some people may not like, but they will have to get over it. I've spent too long listening to people who didn't have my best interests at heart. If you're going to be part of my life, you've got to understand my need to make my decisions for my own life and happiness. I'm trying to be the best possible me I can be...more me!

To those who have cheated on me, to those who have left me, to those who have hurt me, to those who didn't believe in me, to those who broke my heart, I say "Thank you!" Because of you, I've learned who I am, found my independence, took back my voice, and discovered my self-worth.

I wish you all a safe and happy New Year's Eve! May 2018 bring you more blessings than your life can hold!

Today, We Play

I realized this week that I haven't taken much time to play. And by play, I mean, not focus on homework. I've been working my butt off to make sure I'm on top of it all, but I feel like I'm falling further behind. So, I did the obvious thing today...I put the homework aside and I played.

I didn't "play" like you'd think. Instead, I took some time for me! I gave myself permission to not focus on homework, school, or anything to do with that. I allowed myself to be me!

Which means I ate whatever made me happy. It wasn't about convenience or what could be made in a hurry. I just ate what I was hungry for. Then, I turned on Netflix and got lost in seasons of Parenthood. I made chili, homemade bread, and pumpkin muffins. I cleaned up things that I haven't paid much attention to lately. I painted my nails. I listened to some new music that I've discovered. I allowed myself to not sweat it!

When I gave myself permission to open my American history book, I had clearer eyes. I took my quiz and aced it! I'm not sure whether I want to tackle my arch nemesis, College Algebra, or let it lie for tonight. I'm thinking I may let it lie. A hot shower, a bowl of chili and fresh bread, a glass of apple pie wine, and a snuggle with Diesel may be how I spend the rest of my night. 

So, while I decompress from the world and all the pressure I put on myself, tell me...how to do put it all away and take care of you?