Life is Good

How is everyone? I'm praying you and yours are all doing well. I'm still standing and counting the blessings that grace my world.

I started a new blog. I celebrated a birthday. I sat in my sadness over the anniversary of my father's death. I've got on with life and taken a deep breath over the opening up of my world again.

I haven't been into an actual store since March and I'm finding that I don't really miss it. I have a local store that I miss, but, in general, I'm just don't care. I order my groceries online and pick them up on my designated day at my designated time. Anything else I need can either wait or I will order it and have it delivered to the house. The dogs love it! They know when their food is delivered and they get so excited to see the boxes. 

Did I tell you I adopted 2 dogs? I don't think I did. My boss and friend knew my heart hurt over losing Diesel. She knew of 2 dogs who needed love, attention, and training. I hesitated simply because neither of them had ever been in the city, let alone a house. I was worried that this would be more than I could handle. I'd managed to train the other dogs because I'd been home full-time. Working full-time would make this dynamic an interesting one. So, just before Halloween 2019, I drove the 30 minutes to pick up these boys. Jaxson is a Jack Russell terrier who hated to be picked up and really didn't want a lot to do with me. Opie, on the other hand, is a blue heeler/border collie mix. (Yeah, energy enough to fuel a small city.) He has been a tryer of my patience. However, he's a good boy who is finally settling into a much more comfy life. Wanna see a picture?

As you can see, they're having an AWFUL time adjusting. LOL The little one is finally learning to snuggle and it just warms my heart. He has been giving kisses and will let me hug him when the mood strikes him. And the big oaf? Well, he's never had an issue with being loved and adored. Walking on a leash? That's a whole different ball game. *eye roll*

Back to the topic of conversation. I have been working through all of this mess, so I'm blessed more than others. With unemployment being a mess and people being out of work, I am so glad to be still working and getting a steady paycheck. I know of small business owners who are being hit so hard right now and it breaks my heart. 

And I've opened up a couple of my Word docs to work on my writing. Don't know how far I'll get, but it feels good to stretch my fingers across the keyboard and let the characters come back to life.

So, tell me, how are you faring? You have all been covered in my prayers and will continue to be covered in them as we test the waters of reopening the country, our states, our cities...our lives. Be safe. Be healthy. Be kind.

It's Only a Bad Day...

Today I walked into chaos when I walked through the doors to my second job (formerly known as my primary job). I'm usually only there a couple of days a week. I have found that while I miss the people I work with, I don't miss the job itself.

Let me tell you what happened. First of all, before I could even punch in, the one sales associate who was supposed to be my support for 4 hours called in. Then, I punched in only to find one of our registers was down. On a Saturday. When the sun was finally shining. And no one had bothered to share this information with me. We also had a new computer upgrade that is wreaking havoc with the only working computer! I texted my manager who told me to see if the other two people working later in the day could come in early. Neither were available. Which is definitely NOT their fault...people have other lives :) I had one person left to call in and she strode through the doors like Wonder Woman. She got to be my superhero today. Our day was crazy busy and, fortunately, breathing is an automatic response. When my other friend walked through the door, I had hit my limit. I was close to tears from the stress of it all and I managed to keep my shit together. Barely. Wonder Woman spent her unexpected shift dealing with the nonsense like the amazing person she is. And she handled my mood like a pro. The ray of sunshine who walked in at 2pm reminded me that I am loved and let me vent about the bullshit of the day.

I went home, took a long hot shower, ate a HUGE dinner (and am stuffed to the gills), and sat down to relax with a warm blanket. It was as I took a deep breath that I realized that I hadn't internalized the bad day I had had. I was able to process the events and put them away. It was only a bad day, not a bad life. This day will pass and will end on an up note. At the end of this day, all that will matter is that the people I call "friends" still want to be my friend. They understand the crabbiness isn't pointed in their direction, it is just the job that I despise.

This is only a bad day. The bullshit of the day will pass and when tomorrow dawns, the bullshit won't matter, but the friends will.

In Not Of...

My mother once told me, "Be in the world, not of it." I've pondered on this a lot lately. I've noticed more of my old-fashioned values and style bleeding through. I just cannot change that. I was raised in a very different manner than some and I cannot become less than I was raised to be.

This meme has been in my feed a lot lately. It may be the universe is sending me a message that I need to pay attention to. So, I'm going to share it with you:

I've been questioning my purpose here in this Life a lot lately. My mom sent me a message saying "I wish your mirror showed you just how incredible a woman you are!!  The day will come when you see that you have made this world a better place just by being in it...I can hardly wait." Maybe that is all my purpose is...being a part of this world.

It may be that I paid a compliment to someone who was having a bad day. It may be the smile I give to someone walking down the street. Maybe it is taking an extra moment to look at their son's wedding pictures though you've never met him. Maybe it is touching the arm of that cute boy in math class to assure him that he's not alone on this journey. Maybe it's turning off your technology and connecting with the man with that charismatic smile. Maybe it's holding the baby of the mother who is trying to shop but can't because the baby is too fussy. Maybe, just maybe, it's changing people's lives in little ways. And even more important, maybe it isn't the fact that you are changing theirs, maybe it is that these people are changing you!

So, for today, maybe we could all practice being in the world, but not of it.

Bright blessings to you and yours!

Some Days Are Diamonds...

And some days are stones. Okay, more like massive boulders that hang on your neck, threatening to pull you under.

This last week has been one of those weeks that you just can't believe is happening and you pray ends quickly, but drags on.

On my way to class last week, I hit a deer. In the city limits, outside of a cemetery. Then, on my home from class on Monday, I stopped at a yield sign coming off the highway. As I looked over my shoulder to check from traffic coming, an idiot who had been sitting behind me, rear-ended me. *SIGH* Luckily, it was only cosmetic damage to the truck and I'm fine. Tuesday I had the final mid-term which went fairly well. Wednesday went well. Thursday I completely stressed out and flipped a switch that sent me over the edge. I exploded all over everyone in my life. Friday, I had a pop quiz in history and a quiz in math. The pop quiz actually went better than the planned quiz, surprisingly enough.

And working on edits for my books? Yeah, just didn't happen! If I attempted them, I would have ended up hitting the delete button and I've been told no one wants that to happen. 

Let me tell you a couple of lessons I learned this week: 
1)Asking for help is not a sign of weakness.
2)If you don't ask the question, the answer is always "No!"
3)"I'm sorry" are only words unless you change your behavior.
4)Overthinking leads to panic which exacerbates the problem which makes you overthink and panic more.
5)Walking away for a few moments to catch your breath will give you a new perspective.
6)Speaking when you're stressed out and upset makes words come out of your mouth that hurt other people.
7)You don't have to have all the answers, but don't be afraid to ask someone who knows more to help you out.

I tell ya, this has been a week of epic proportions! I've cried, raged, wanted to punch the walls, then, I took some deep breaths, stepped back, and said "I can't do this without some help!" It's amazing the doors that opened up and the hands I found being offered.

I have found the blessings in the disasters and I'm thankful for the little things.

So, I guess the final lesson is this:
8) Diamonds are made from stones under pressure.