Some Days Are Diamonds...

And some days are stones. Okay, more like massive boulders that hang on your neck, threatening to pull you under.

This last week has been one of those weeks that you just can't believe is happening and you pray ends quickly, but drags on.

On my way to class last week, I hit a deer. In the city limits, outside of a cemetery. Then, on my home from class on Monday, I stopped at a yield sign coming off the highway. As I looked over my shoulder to check from traffic coming, an idiot who had been sitting behind me, rear-ended me. *SIGH* Luckily, it was only cosmetic damage to the truck and I'm fine. Tuesday I had the final mid-term which went fairly well. Wednesday went well. Thursday I completely stressed out and flipped a switch that sent me over the edge. I exploded all over everyone in my life. Friday, I had a pop quiz in history and a quiz in math. The pop quiz actually went better than the planned quiz, surprisingly enough.

And working on edits for my books? Yeah, just didn't happen! If I attempted them, I would have ended up hitting the delete button and I've been told no one wants that to happen. 

Let me tell you a couple of lessons I learned this week: 
1)Asking for help is not a sign of weakness.
2)If you don't ask the question, the answer is always "No!"
3)"I'm sorry" are only words unless you change your behavior.
4)Overthinking leads to panic which exacerbates the problem which makes you overthink and panic more.
5)Walking away for a few moments to catch your breath will give you a new perspective.
6)Speaking when you're stressed out and upset makes words come out of your mouth that hurt other people.
7)You don't have to have all the answers, but don't be afraid to ask someone who knows more to help you out.

I tell ya, this has been a week of epic proportions! I've cried, raged, wanted to punch the walls, then, I took some deep breaths, stepped back, and said "I can't do this without some help!" It's amazing the doors that opened up and the hands I found being offered.

I have found the blessings in the disasters and I'm thankful for the little things.

So, I guess the final lesson is this:
8) Diamonds are made from stones under pressure.

Hello!

I'm taking a break from studying to say "Hello!" I'm in the middle of studying for my mid-terms and it's hurting my brain. I've gotten out for fresh air (and to put gas in my truck). I've made food and ate. I've...wait, I swear I'm not stalling! :) 

My study buddy

This guy has been by my side all day. He's such a snuggler on days when he can get some snuggle time in. He's not much help when I'm trying to figure out algebra or history, but he's my heart. Having a bigger bed to snuggle in has absolutely NOTHING to do with his love! *snort* Life is good and I'm so grateful for all that I have!

I hope you have a blessed week ahead of you. I've gotta get back to this studying thing. I've got 7 layer dip Combos and Pepsi to sustain me. 

Bright blessings to you and yours!

Where On Earth...

Is it just me or does it feel like this year has been flying by? It's already October which means I've been back in school for almost a month which means mid-terms are coming down the pike! Holy smokes! School is going well! I'm actually getting the back in the swing and loving it. My classes are challenging enough to keep my hopping, but slow going enough that I'm not killing myself to stay on top of things.

I feel good in saying that I've got the majority of my holiday shopping done. Yes, you read that right! I'm almost completely done with my shopping. I'm pretty proud if I do say so myself. If it weren't for the internet, I wouldn't be even halfway done.

I've been sharing some of the things I've been writing with you all and the response has been great! Thank you all for your support!

Here's a little something I wrote and it makes me think of autumn:

His Eyes

Many would call your eyes "brown" when they see you.

However, when I look into your eyes, I see so much more than simply a color.

I see the sun radiating through the fall foliage on a brisk autumn day.

I see fire flickering through a glass of cognac.

I see the leaves changing to their autumn colors with little flecks of green still visible in their coats.

I see the summertime sun filtering through the water in a pond.

I see the moon with a haze over its light.

I see my world.

I see my love.

I see my life.

I do not merely see the color brown.

I see my everything.

I was watching a show the other night and the main character was pondering out loud to her sleeping lover "Where do you go when you dream?" It made me think and this is the result:

Where Does Your Heart Go?

When the night is dark and you're lying in bed alone, lost in your overthinking...where does your heart go?

When the seas of life are rough and the storms are raging overhead, tossing your ship from side to side...where does your heart go?

When your day has been filled with negativity unending and you feel like you've been kicked too often while you're down...where does your heart go?

When you feel cast aside and no one wants you around, when you're feeling empty...where does your heart go?

Whose arms do you ache for comfort?

With whom does your anchor lie?

Who is the first person you reach for?

Where does your heart go, my darling?

When my night is at its darkest and the moon is hidden behind the clouds, my heart reaches out to you.

When the storms are raging around me and my ship feel lost at sea, it's the cove of your love where I seek shelter.

When my day goes from bad to worse and I feel bullied by those around me, I search for you, my hero, to protect me from the world.

When I feel empty and lonely, unloved and afraid, it is your arms that I long for to hold me tight and love me unconditionally.

I'm off to conquer the world of college algebra. I hope you all have an amazing week! I'll catch you on the flipside!!

Trusting My Gut...

I had someone I trusted implicitly once tell me I shouldn't trust my gut. He told me that my gut was always wrong. And I, like a fool, believed him. While he meant that I shouldn't trust it in certain areas, I, being the all or nothing girl I am, took it to the ultimate degree. I stopped trusting myself when it came to people, falling in love, my life choices, and my writing.

I've been back in school for a bit over a week now. Let me tell you something amazing: by trusting my own gut, I'm discovering that I'm going to be okay. My math skills aren't exactly perfect, but I'm doing better than I imagined. When the professor writes problems on the board, I know what he's talking about. I'm actually able to help others! It's incredible! For me, the biggest step was raising my hand to answer a question! Omg! I was so proud of myself! The guy sitting next to me, made me laugh when he said "Mhmm, you go girl."

Even my writing is coming back. Slowly. I've been working on little writing prompts I find. This is one I wrote a while ago:

She Wanted Me to Break It...

She wanted me to break it…her heart that is. Hell, she expected me to. From the first day I had said “hello,” the beautiful woman expected the worst. Not because of me per se, but because that is what every man before me had done…broke her heart.

One look in those hazel green eyes of hers and I was lost. I had no intention of breaking her heart, her spirit, or anything else. Instead, I wanted to wrap her up in my arms and give her a safe place to call home.

Tears came to her eyes too easily and that made me believe she was fragile and broken. I vowed to be her defender and friend. Her heart was a mess. Her life was a disaster. But there was something about her. Something that made me want to stand beside her.

For two years, I was the man standing there, holding her hand, supporting her. She told me I was the reason for her smile. That I was the reason her world would spin continuously. But I was a fool.

I left her alone when she needed me the most. I wallowed in my own self-pity instead of allowing her to reciprocate the things I had been doing for her. I withdrew into my own world and rejected the hand she offered me to keep me from becoming the recluse I had been before her.

One day, she looked at me, her eyes alight with love and joy. She told me how she had met a man. A man who loved her and treated her like the queen she was. He told her she was beautiful and sexy. And when he said these words to her, she believed him.

I looked at her as she waited for me to say something…anything. Her face shone like the moon on my darkest night. In the vicinity of the heart I claimed to not have, I felt something shatter. I always imagined she would wait for me to be that man…the one who would make her believe she was beautiful and worthy of being my partner. While I was getting my life together, she gave up on me because I hadn’t shared my true feelings for her.

She wanted me to break it…her heart. Instead, she broke mine.

Here's a second one I wrote just the other day:

And With One Look in His Eyes, She Told Herself, "This is gonna hurt when it's over."

Lost in her own world, music playing her worries away, she almost missed him. That isn’t the truth. Sure music was playing and she was lost in her own world, but she could never have missed him. He wouldn’t allow it. He strolled into that room, bigger than life, with a smile that lit up the darkness. Her anxiety was through the roof because avoiding conversations with complete strangers, even handsome ones, was ingrained in her nature.

He slowly slid into her daily routine. Enough so that she began to look for him and look forward to seeing him. He made her days easier and her nights were limited only by her imagination. Her laughter came slowly with this one. Before long, smiles replaced her anxiety and touches were less painful. Touches became a craving and her comfort with this stranger reached a plateau she never thought she’d reach. After all, men hurt women like her. She was nothing to them. She was easily tossed aside and forgotten like a childhood toy.

There was something different about this one. Something that made her trust him and trust was not an easy thing for her to give away. She felt safe and secure. His hands didn’t mean her harm. In fact, they were gentle in their caressing. His face was a complicated picture of perfection and imperfection. Handsome and beautiful, but not in a traditional sense, but honed to a kind of beauty that could only be seen with the eye of love.

Then, she took a chance one day and looked deep into his eyes. She took a breath and dove into the whiskey-colored pools with firelight flickering in their depths. They peered into her soul and she let down her guard. She forgot to breathe. In that moment, she lost her heart. And with that one look in his eyes, she told herself, “This is gonna hurt when it’s over.”

So, as you can see, my writing is making a comeback, but it is a slow going process. Tell me what you think!

What Do You See?

The other day I found a video on Facebook. They took Polaroids of women and asked the women what they saw. There were 63 women used on this project. I watched the video with tears in my eyes. So much beauty and strength was there, yet they sometimes missed it.

I'm on a college campus most days. While I realize that I'm not 18, I compare myself to the girls on campus. I'm not as skinny as that one. I'm not as pretty as another. My skin is flawed and not as fresh as a younger woman's. I'm heavier than most. I dress for comfort instead of style.

But I'm working on my self-image. I'm trying to be more positive about my appearance. For example: I love my hair! I work hard to make sure the color in my hair looks good. And my eyes...I love the color and shape of my eyes. Even in glasses, my eyes are my best feature.

So...I decided that maybe it was time I took a selfie and posted it for the world to see. I'm going to tell you what I see when I look at these pictures. I'm going to try to remain positive, but no promises there.

Ready? Okay, here we go:

Oh gods, this is harder than I thought it would be! *tears*

I see my dad's bone structure in my cheeks. I see my mom's complexion and her eyes. I see my grandmother's mouth. I see pain. I see strength. I see doubt. I see a woman who needs to learn to believe in herself and her abilities. I love her hair! I see someone who knows how to love everyone except herself. I see the introvert, the bookworm, the one who wants to blend in, the one who hopes everyone overlooks her. I see someone who has lost so much and is scared to death. I see the little girl who is scared of screwing up and is petrified to take a chance. I see the woman who has known what it is to be hurt at the hands of someone she trusted...enough so that she is scared to let people touch her...someone who flinches without realizing she's doing it. I see someone who thinks she is more overweight than she really is. I see a daughter. I see a friend. I see a small-town girl. I see someone with a very big heart that has been broken more times than she cares to admit. I see a farmer's daughter with a rebel streak a half mile wide.

I've been told that I have a beautiful smile. I just don't smile in photos because I'm very self-conscious of my teeth. For years, I've been told to "hide your smile" or "smile with your mouth closed". By not smiling, it doesn't mean that I'm not happy. I'm just...me. Mr. Charismatic Smile walked into class one day after having missed a class and said, "There's that beautiful smile. I missed it." He just about brought me to my knees with that comment. That one comment made my day so much brighter and I still smile when I remember that first day. However, old habits die hard.

So, there you go: Gemma finally shows you who she is physically. You all know me on a different level, but now, you see what I see.

I just want us to be more aware of ourselves, our bodies, and our view of those things. We shape our own views. Don't let anyone make you feel like you are less than you are! Because you are the best version of you...no one can tell you different!

Fighting the Fear

   

                                                       


I hate to admit it, but I am scared. I am fearful of so many things and I allow them to hold me back. Being insecure is part of my comfort zone. Being insecure is all I've ever known. I meet people with confidence and think, "Wow! How awesome are they?" But to be confident, I'd have to believe I am good at something, that I have something to offer the world, that I matter. And I'm aware that for my life to begin means that I have to step outside of my comfort zone.

I'm scared of failure which I allow to keep me from writing. If I don't write, then I can't fail, right? WRONG!! I'm failing myself by not trying. I'm aware of all of this. However, with my depression weighing on me like a Mack truck, I just wanna throw in the towel. Instead, I write my blog posts. I put all of my feelings out into the universe and release them. I am hoping that my scattered and random thoughts will make sense to the people who need to know they're not alone.

I get up every day and go through the motions of my life. Walk and feed the dog, shower, eat, get dressed, go to work, go home, walk and feed dog, eat, crawl into bed, talk to my sister, and pray sleep comes easily. Some days, I go to bed laughing. Others, I cry until I'm exhausted. And the rest? Well,I allow my brain to run wild and tell me all sorts of horrible things. 

I chuckle as I write this because I have so many people fooled. If you met me on the street, you wouldn't believe that I'm the woman I am. You'd see my smile and think "She's so confident." We'd speak and you'd say to yourself, "She's so friendly." You may overhear a conversation with someone I know and think "She sounds so funny and intelligent." But it is the fear that you are missing.

You're not seeing the fact that it took me two hours to work up the courage to leave the house. You don't notice the white knuckles as I cling to my keys. You've missed the routine of parking in front of the store so I don't have to interact with many people. You don't see the fear behind the smile and the thought process of "Please don't let anyone talk to me!" And gods forbid if someone should reach out to touch me! 

I was in a math class in college two semesters ago. I chose to sit in the back of the class, in the far corner. My nose was in my book. My earbuds securely in my ears until class started. I was getting in my zone. Then, HE walked in. You know, the one guy who has a smile on his face constantly and has such a charismatic personality that you can't help but smile back? Yeah, I got that one. He'd walk into class everyday and he'd want to chat. Being the only other person in class, we'd visit. Then, he did the one thing no one does...he put his hand on my knee and squeezed. Inside, I was losing my shit. Outside, he saw nothing wrong. This continued until I grew used to his touch, then he took my hand. He'd hold it for a brief moment. He always had his hands near mine, fiddling with my binder, twirling my pencil, just being the outgoing man he is. One day, he walk into class, borrowed my notes, returned them and he hugged me! And all the negative thoughts, the panic attack, the "oh gods, he's touching me" thoughts went silent. He just held on. Tightly. I hugged him back and attempted to let go. He did the one thing I never dreamed would happen to me...he held on when I tried to let go. I worked so hard to keep my shit together. I was close to a panic attack, but I didn't have one...until later. I went home from class that day and cried. A panic attack set in when I realized what had happened...I let someone get close enough to feel the rolls of fat on my body, to smell the essential oils I wear as perfume, to smell my shampoo, to notice my breasts aren't perky and perfect. I was petrified that this man would touch me again (and he did...a lot!!!!). He was constantly touching. This was hard for me because I am a person who CRAVES touch. That physical brush of skin against skin, body across body...I yearn for it, but to have a complete stranger (and a beautiful one at that) reach for me first was both amazing and terrifying. 

I am aware that I have lost weight over the last two years. I buy clothes that fit me now and look nice. I don't buy muumuus and large patterned items. I don't dress in all black anymore. Stretch pants and yoga pants are for home use only. I wear jeans and skirts, bright colors, things that reveal and show off my assets. I'm very proud of myself...however, I am still overweight. 

I fear standing out. I don't want people to notice me, but they do anyway. I scurry along the sides of a room like those furry spawns of Satan I hate so much (mice). When someone speaks to me, I often find myself looking around as if I'm thinking "Are you talking to me? Why are you talking to me? Why do you think I should speak? "

I'm scared to allow my voice to be heard. I don't want people to look at me and think "How stupid!" I know I have a brain and common sense. I don't consider myself intelligent though the man from math class thinks I'm smart! 

I'm on a college campus of about 4,000 students on a somewhat daily basis and I rarely speak to anyone. I sit in class with my mouth tightly shut (unless I'm called on) and take notes. Every semester, I will have 1 or 2 people I will speak to on a regular basis, but once the semester is over, I don't talk to them again. In this electronic age, I am more content to keep my earbuds in and my nose in a book for fear of people thinking that I'm too old, too fat, too stupid, too something, to be there.

However, I'm trying. Mr. Charismatic Math Man has me talking to so many different people that I have no choice but to interact. In fact, because of him, I may have made a friend (or two) who I actually text from time to time. I owe this man a debt of gratitude and maybe a plate of cookies.

Back To School...

I am currently sitting in class waiting for it to start. With time to spare, I thought I'd stop by and say "Hello. I've missed you all!"

Classes started on Monday for me and it looks as though this is going to be a great semester. I've got classes that are really making me think and that is a wonderful thing. I hate being in classes where I simply sit and daydream. It doesn't inspire me to do my best. The constant drone merely lets me know that this is a place I don't want to be in. The one class I couldn't wait for may actually be that sort of class. I'm giving it another day and hoping I will actually be inspired.

I've been working on building a website and I'm very happy with the way it is turning out. It is taking a lot of work, but the input I've received is saying that it is well on its way to being completed. I need to finish the book though before I launch it for you.

Class is about to start so I will sign off for now. I hope you all have a very blessed day and that you find inspiration in every moment.

Ramblings from a Writer's Jumbled Mind

Wow! Two blog posts rather close together...I'm sort of impressed with myself :) Okay, so this is more or less me just shooting out random thoughts, but let me tell you, this head of mine is filled with all sorts of random bits and pieces.

Brady and Silver are sitting in my lil sis/editor's hands at the moment. I'm hoping to self-publish BEFORE Christmas. Then, I have Books 4 and 5 well under way plus a few surprises.

Last night, I got to sit down and discuss books with an incredibly brilliant man. He blows my mind every time I get to spend time with him. He's reading Frankenstein at the moment and we were discussing how his idea of what Frankenstein was skewed (according to the movies). He told me how awe-struck he was by the differences he's finding. He had me laughing until tears fell from my eyes with some of the things that came out of his mouth. Gods, I haven't laughed like that since...well, he visited the last time. Should I mention that this highly intelligent guy is my inspiration for Beckett Black (otter shifter)? Oh yeah, let me tell you...you all are in for a rare and beautiful treat with this one :) Thank you, T, for the laughter and conversation! You need to visit more often :) You are the most amazingly brilliant and twisted human I know (yes, that's a compliment)!

You will notice some things popping up on this blog that may or may not surprise you. I've told you how this year has been about change for me. I'm exploring myself and discovering that I really do love who I am. In that same context, you will start to find some BDSM things creeping onto my page. More often than not, these people are friends of mine who do magnificent work and I want to promote them to the world. You will also find some kinky type writings creeping up on this page. If that isn't your thing, I understand. I'm going to post them under their own tab so if you want to avoid those types of writings, well, you can.

I want to say something to all of you...if your partner tells you that you are beautiful or sexy, DON'T look at him as if he's lost his mind. DON'T tell him he needs to have his eyes examined. DON'T tell him he has no idea what he's talking about. DON'T belittle his opinion of you!!! Look that incredible person in the eyes and say "Thank you!" and mean it!!!! Like I said I'm learning as I go. I have a man in my life who is my best friend. He's been telling me I'm beautiful for a looooooonnnnnggg time. I've done all of the DON'Ts I listed above. Lucky for me, he still keeps saying it. I think he believed that if he kept telling me I was beautiful, I would eventually believe it. And here's a surprise: it worked. If you tell someone something enough, they start to believe it. This has been a hard lesson for me. He even scoffed at me the other day when I said something about my fat ass. Seriously, dude? Oh yeah...thank you :) He also tells that I'm sweet...wow...someone is trying to get on Santa's nice list this year. Oh wait...thank you!

Thank you for letting me ramble on about life! I'm headed toward finals this week and I have over a month off between semesters. Plenty of writing time and loads of fun to be had. Who knows what will be created in that time? Could be fun to find out!

Love and blessings to you and yours!

What I'm Thankful For...

"A day late and a dollar short" as my grandma would say. Yes, that is me. I've been so neglectful lately and it shows in everything. From my writing to my friendships to my homework, I've been neglecting way too much.
I promised everyone that this was going to be a year of change, but I never dreamed how many changes would come my way. What a difference a year can make!
Yesterday, I spent my first holiday...alone. I cooked a small dinner for my Diesel and me. I spent the day in my pajamas, working on homework, playing on the internet, and watching movies. My baby sister called and we talked. Okay, I cried a lot, she coughed a lot (she's sick), and she listened to me bitch. Then, I realized that I never wrote out what I'm most grateful for.

So today I will share what I am most grateful for (in the order of which they came to me):

My baby sister who listens to me. She makes me laugh, cry, think, and roll my eyes. Her humor is twisted and dark. Her brain is weirdly wired like mine and her weirdness can catch mine toe to toe. She lets me vent when things aren't working and doesn't laugh (too hard) when I realize the situation isn't nearly as bad as I thought.

My roommate, my best friend, my partner who gets me. He gets all of me...most of the time. He came into my life when I felt more alone than I had ever been. He walked through that classroom door and flipped my world upside down. He gave me hope. He cared when I felt no one else did. He helped when I didn't think I had a friend in the world. He organized and strategized. He gave light to my darkness and showed me the weird freak that lives inside of him. His weirdness dances with mine and  my demons quiet at the sound of his name.

My furkid who has been there through all the insanity of the last year. His paw was always there for me to hold when I needed that physical contact with someone or something. He's made me laugh more than anyone else could. He accepted the changes in our life like a trooper and fell in love with the people who have come into our lives. He doesn't begrudge me the times when I leave him alone for a few hours to go out and explore my darkness. He's been my constant through it all.

My friends who helped me through the worst summer ever. I don't know what I would have done without you. You gave Diesel and I a place to live while asking for very little in return. You listened as I cried and bitched about the move we were going to make. You kept me from making the worst decision of my life. You helped us move into our new home and helped out with the little things we needed...like a shower curtain and a bed. You came to visit and told me I always had a home to come home to. You are my friends who became my family and I love you more than you will ever realize.

The friends who have often sent a text message or FB'd me just to check in and let me know they are there if I need a shoulder.

My fans, new and old, who stand by patiently (or not so patiently in some cases) while I get my shit together. You've been faithful and loyal. For that alone, I am truly grateful. Book 3 is almost finished, I promise.

To live in the country I live in where I can get an education and become anything I wish to be

To have had the childhood I did

To have been raised by the most incredible man in the world...my daddy.

To have known the love of a mother, even though she wasn't MY mother

To have had the courage to make the changes I made

For my talent as a writer

For my family who still stands beside me

For the new friends who have come into my life, accepted me and showed me that I'm not alone in my darkness. You've helped me grow and you've shown me that I'm not nearly as weird as I thought I was. I've learned so much from all of you in the short time we've been acquainted. More often than not, you keep the light burning bright inside of my cold, dark heart.

There are many things that I'm sure I'm forgetting, but these are a few things (and people) I am most grateful for. Without the people in my life, I would be more lost than I ever thought.

One more thing, I'm grateful for...snow. I have discovered just how much I love the stuff. It is beckoning to me now and I need to get out and shovel. It's actually more invigorating than I ever imagined. One of these days, I'll post some pics for you.

For now, be good to each other, love one another, and hug those you love most!

Riding this Rollercoaster

With all of the upcoming changes, including a very big move, I've made a few decisions. The most important was to discontinue the Cedar River Series fan page. I just don't have time to keep up with all of it, go to school, go to work, write, and have a semblance of a life. I'm sorry if that disappoints any of you, but you will still be able to interact with the characters and see their pictures on my author page. I'm trying to keep that going so that you can keep up with what is happening.
Another decision is to "fix" Brady and Silver's story. It's been through the editing process, but I really just don't like this story. It needs something...maybe a little magick, maybe a bit more passion, I'm just not sure yet. Because I'm self-publishing this one, I really hate to put out a book that a) I hate and b) something that isn't up to standard. I have people helping me find the missing heart to this story...people who love these characters as much as you do.
As mentioned above, I am currently in the middle of a big move. The apartment is rented. Most of my things are moved in...all except a few odds and ends, Diesel, and me :)

This boy is my life and his comfort is above and beyond all else my main focus. He's always been a country pup with room to roam and very few neighbors. For the last month, his world has changed by leaps and bounds. His dad moved away. Mom's best friend came to pick up our things and take them away. Mom and Diesel were forced to move in with friends, 3 dogs, 3 cats and 2 teenagers. Now, Mom is moving Diesel into a city apartment with a huge park down the street with her best friend. There are going to be all of these new people flooding into his life and a new way of living that I'm hoping doesn't overwhelm him. Luckily, he's a Mastiff...pretty laid back, roll with the flow.

I'm going to be able to post more once I have my schedule figured out and I can keep you up to date on life, books, characters, and maybe even start bringing my author friends by to visit again.

Thank you for being patient with me as my life evolves into this amazing thing that I simply can't get enough of! This roller coaster is slowing down slightly...just not sure if I'm ready to step off this ride yet :) I'm having a ball!!! Maybe you will bring a new friend or two along for the adventure?

Livin' La Vida Loca

For some reason Livin' La Vida Loca is stuck in my head. I'm well aware I'm dating myself when I share that, but I'll even go one step further...I remember when Ricky Martin was in Menudo. 

Anyway back La Vida Loca...my life is very crazy at the moment. With the edits for The Golden Dragon's Treasure, heading back to college, thinking about what I really want to focus on education/career wise (because face it, I need a day job), plus my chaotic life in general...well, you can see why this song suits me :)

I read an article the other day how I should pick a subject and keep my blog simply about that. Like I should only blog about my books and being an author. *frowns* I'm so much more than just an author. I'm a canine mom. I'm an editor. I'm a student. I'm a friend. I'm an author. I'm a woman. I wear so many different hats in a 24 hour period so why should I choose one subject for my blog? 

Some of my favorite authors blog about their crazy lives. From their kids to their writing to their spouses, I love reading about how absolutely normal they are. I hope you feel the same way.

My journey is changing. My writing is growing into something new every day. I love seeing these changes taking place. I'm evolving into the woman I was always meant to be.

For those who have been asking, Silver and Brady's story is almost ready. I'm working with my editor to make it as perfect as possible before I put it out in the world. I've got Book 4 that I'm working on plus a few more surprises for you. I'm busy. I promise you that. I do take a little downtime for myself, but not this weekend! This weekend is all about edits :)

I hope everyone has a happy Labor Day weekend! Please be safe! I like drinking as much as anyone, but please don't drink and drive or drink and boat. I'd miss you too much if you weren't here!

A Few Things I'm Learning As I Go

So, I'm a college student. Most of you are aware of that. What you don't know is that I started this journey with one goal in mind: get a degree. That was all I wanted. I wasn't going to school to make friends. I wasn't going to engage if I didn't have to. I wanted to earn a degree and walk back into the world smarter. That's it. I'd mind my own business and live my life and everyone else could just leave me alone.
Last semester, I got kicked off that track of thinking. I met a young man who refused to allow me to live in my shell. He asked me questions and stopped to chat with me on campus. He engaged me and made it his mission to make sure I engaged other people. He changed my life though he will never understand that.
I walked onto campus as one of the older students. I figured the kids are going to look at me as the "old woman" on campus. I never expected for them to like me. I didn't care whether they did or not, but they did. I had a couple of people last year tell me, "You know, you're pretty cool, right?" Me? The bookworm? Seriously? You all need to read up on what being cool is! *G*

This semester a different woman walked onto campus. I walked in a little more confident and a whole lot friendlier. The other day, I laughed all the way home. Want to know why? I had been stopped by 4 different people to chat in the hallways. ME! Then, I walked across our tiny campus with another student, chatting about our previous class. When I realized what had happened, it made me laugh out loud. The woman who walked from class to class with her head down, not being engaged with anyone, has friends on campus and not one of them is my own age.
Here are a few things I'm learning:
1) Age is simply a number
2) You are truly only as old as you feel
3) This new generation has a lot to learn, but they also have a lot to offer.
4) Many of these young people refuse to be silent. They stand up for their convictions (and that is AWESOME!)
5) Youth is pretty blind to age.
6) I actually have something to say that they want to hear.
So, I guess an old dog can learn some new tricks, if only they open themselves up to the opportunity. And it all started with the least likely person.

My quote for this week: "Shoot for the moon! Even if you miss, you'll land amongst the stars."