Life is Good

How is everyone? I'm praying you and yours are all doing well. I'm still standing and counting the blessings that grace my world.

I started a new blog. I celebrated a birthday. I sat in my sadness over the anniversary of my father's death. I've got on with life and taken a deep breath over the opening up of my world again.

I haven't been into an actual store since March and I'm finding that I don't really miss it. I have a local store that I miss, but, in general, I'm just don't care. I order my groceries online and pick them up on my designated day at my designated time. Anything else I need can either wait or I will order it and have it delivered to the house. The dogs love it! They know when their food is delivered and they get so excited to see the boxes. 

Did I tell you I adopted 2 dogs? I don't think I did. My boss and friend knew my heart hurt over losing Diesel. She knew of 2 dogs who needed love, attention, and training. I hesitated simply because neither of them had ever been in the city, let alone a house. I was worried that this would be more than I could handle. I'd managed to train the other dogs because I'd been home full-time. Working full-time would make this dynamic an interesting one. So, just before Halloween 2019, I drove the 30 minutes to pick up these boys. Jaxson is a Jack Russell terrier who hated to be picked up and really didn't want a lot to do with me. Opie, on the other hand, is a blue heeler/border collie mix. (Yeah, energy enough to fuel a small city.) He has been a tryer of my patience. However, he's a good boy who is finally settling into a much more comfy life. Wanna see a picture?

As you can see, they're having an AWFUL time adjusting. LOL The little one is finally learning to snuggle and it just warms my heart. He has been giving kisses and will let me hug him when the mood strikes him. And the big oaf? Well, he's never had an issue with being loved and adored. Walking on a leash? That's a whole different ball game. *eye roll*

Back to the topic of conversation. I have been working through all of this mess, so I'm blessed more than others. With unemployment being a mess and people being out of work, I am so glad to be still working and getting a steady paycheck. I know of small business owners who are being hit so hard right now and it breaks my heart. 

And I've opened up a couple of my Word docs to work on my writing. Don't know how far I'll get, but it feels good to stretch my fingers across the keyboard and let the characters come back to life.

So, tell me, how are you faring? You have all been covered in my prayers and will continue to be covered in them as we test the waters of reopening the country, our states, our cities...our lives. Be safe. Be healthy. Be kind.

Mother's Day

This is a very special holiday, but this year, it will be a much different holiday for some families. This quarantine is messing with so many things and this is just another one of them.

Doesn't mean we can't still celebrate the women who have loved us through the scraped knees, the broken bones, and the shattered hearts. For putting up with the nonsense children put them through and the craziness that their adult children cause. 

They still manage to love us through it all. That takes a love deeper than most of us will ever know unless we have children of our own. 

So, to all of the women out there, especially those who are working from home while supporting their children with schoolwork and are managing to keep their sanity, we see you! And you don't have to be perfect for your children to love you.

Like I told my mom the other day, she built a home on love, faith, and hard work. And that love made me one of the richest kids in the world.

Holding Space

The other day I was having a conversation with a friend. Things have been going fairly well, but there are things that are weighing on my heart. This world and the situation we find ourselves in isn't helping.

My friend told me to "Just sit in this situation for now. Get your balance. Build that foundation." And that was just the advice I needed.

My life isn't in a bad place. I'm financially doing just fine. I've got a few things on my plate, but nothing I can't handle. However, I need to deal with what's there before adding anything more. This means I need to hold space for myself for a little bit.

I'm working on letting go of things and people who no longer allow me to live my best life. I'm trying to release the past and live where I am. I'm finding the things I'm passionate about and letting them be what I focus on when my anxieties are riding high. Most of all, I'm learning to dream again. 

I wish I could explain to you how good that feels. I had given up on so many things lately. Instead of thriving where I was planted, I was surviving and only just. However, lately, I've been doing things I would never dream of doing before. I've signed up for a project that will take me so far out of my comfort zone that I can't see how I will return from it unchanged. I'm beginning to see the direction I want to steer this ship of mine. 

But for now, I'm allowing the waves to lap at my hull as I sit in the safe harbor where I'm anchored. And I'm holding space...for myself for a change. 

I'm so used to holding space for other people. So often, I just let my problems and my shit be pushed down so I can help those I love most. But if I have learned anything from this journey, I've learned that I cannot give from an empty cup. I cannot nourish you while starving myself. 

So, for now, I'm working on things that make me happy. (Including a new blog called "What Makes You Beautiful-Going Beyond the Looking Glass" It's a blog about finding your beauty at any age.) I'm allowing the dreams to come and who knows where I'll end up. I just hope you all stick around for the crazy journey!