Birthdays

Anyone who knows me is highly aware of how much I HATE celebrating my birthday. For years, I've said "It is just another day. It's nothing special." It is just a day where I'm reminded how old I am and I'm tired of being reminded that time is rolling by. I want to grab onto the bumper of time and hold on, slowing it down.

I haven't always hated it. I'm not sure when it started exactly, but I'm guessing around the time I turned 30 and saw life passing me by. I had so much I wanted to accomplish and no idea how to do it. 

Now, I'm accomplishing goals and checking things off my list left and right. I'm enjoying my life and I want it to slow down a little bit so I can make sure I have time.

My mom and me with my cousins, Mark and Doug

This is a big year for me. I'm heading into a downhill slide toward a number I'm not ready to face. I have so much left to do and as the numbers go up, I find myself panicking because I may never see the fulfillment of some of the things I want to do. I just don't feel like celebrating this year.

The other day I was told, "Did you ever stop to think it is the day of the year where we get to celebrate you? That it is maybe the one day of the year where those who love you get to be grateful that you were born into this world? Maybe you could be a bit happier since while yes, the number goes up every year, some people aren't as fortunate. And what about your mom? She went through pain for you and if for no other reason, it is a day SHE gets to celebrate."

So, I took a step back and let the words sink in. Okay, this hit me in the head like a ton of bricks. I hadn't stopped to see it that way before and have had to admit that I've been more than a bit selfish through the years.

One of the only pictures I have of my dad smiling

So, here I am, embarking on another year. And while I'm quite anxious to see where this one leads, I can only hope that it is as deliriously wonderful as the last few years have been. I've been blessed in ways others haven't been and for that I am grateful. I have so much left to do!

My grandma always said "Time flies when you're having fun," so I must be having the time of my life :) But my uncle would always say that he'd never laid the last brick on one project before starting the next. His reasoning? "God can't call me home until the job is done." So, I'll keep having fun, but I'm not going to finish one job before I start another. That way, I'm serving a purpose, right? LOL

Here's a big thank you to my mom! For carrying me under her heart and in her heart from the very beginning, for putting up with a daughter who seems scattered, but really had a purpose, and for loving me through all the bullshit! On my birthday, I am celebrating her and all she's done for me!

A Woman of a Certain Age...

This posting was going to be funny and silly, but I've had something on my mind lately. It has to do with age and I'm tired of holding back.

I'm celebrating a birthday this week and it's a milestone. I've fussed over it. I've cried over it, but no matter what, it is going to happen. Honestly, I'd rather have that than the other option! However, someone said something to me the other day and it pissed me off. They hurt my feelings! They said, "Remember how old you are. You aren't 20 anymore!"

You know what? I know that! I look in the mirror every single day and I know I'm not 20! I feel the aches and pains in my joints. I know I'm not 20! I don't need your reminder that I'm older than I want to be!

I was talking to my darling sister the other day and actually said the words, "I thought I'd have more time!" When I was younger, I wasted time. I gave time to people who didn't deserve it. I allowed people to take from me without giving back. I let people take my spirit, steal my thunder, and break me until I was less than I wanted or deserved to be! I made mistakes that cost me more than I should've allowed! And, trust me, I'm paying the price now.

I'm not a woman who regrets the decisions she's made. There's no point because I can't change the past. Every decision has led me to the spot I am now. I was beat down and degraded. I lost my voice. I still have a few issues to work on, but I'm trying. And I love the woman I've found under years of breakage and hurt. People buried my fire until it was almost out. Unfortunately for them, the ember still smoldered. I've been digging through the wreckage of my soul for a while and the fire is back to roaring.

I know I'm not 20! I wouldn't want to be. Being 20 would put me back in a place I wouldn't want to be with people I don't like all that much. I don't have to "act my age" or be reminded that I'm not a teenager. I color my hair whatever fucking color I feel like. I wear whatever fucking clothes I want. I wear as much or as little make-up as I want. Most days, I'm mistaken for 28-35. I'm okay with that! Hell, I'm ecstatic over that! When someone asks me how old I am, I love watching their mouths fall open because they think I'm so much younger. And that's on a college campus! After a lifetime of being the geek who has her nose in a book, I've had some students actually tell me I'm the "coolest chick" they know. I've been told I inspire them.

So here's a piece of advice: The next time you get the urge to remind a woman of their age or say "Well, a woman of a certain age would...", shut your damn mouth and blow your opinion out your ass! Why? Because women of ANY age can do whatever the hell they want and they don't need  your permission to do so!

Good Morning!!!

It is a cold and blustery morning here in the beautiful state of bliss! I woke up and pulled on my leggings and my favorite bulky sweater. It is cold enough in the house to even consider putting on...egads! Socks!!! If you know me, you know I hate wearing socks, I prefer my feet bare at all times. I only wear socks in the house on one condition...usually, but that is a different topic for a different time. *wink*

Life has been excellent here. Book sales aren't great, but, then again, they never have been. I'm not promoting via other author/bloggers as much which makes it hard to get word out about the books, but I try to blog here more.

I was reading my Facebook feed the other day and an author friend was considering having a cover reveal event. I chuckled a little bit because I just never considered that. I'm not one to celebrate a new book being published. I didn't have a special ritual, meal, or anything I did. To me, it's just another day. I'm proud, but I still turn to the next thing at hand and dive right in. Friends were a little bit shocked at the fact that I truly don't celebrate by doing something special. My sweet roommate told me we would do something, but with money as tight as it has been, we never got around to it. Last week, I splurged and bought two bottles of wine. We opened them and celebrated. It felt good to share that moment with him. So, I now have a new ritual. With the release of each new book, a couple of bottles of wine must be bought and shared with the one man who sees my accomplishment as a HUGE deal.

And this brings me to my next piece of news...I am working on a new series (I know. I know. Not big news, Gemma.) But after much talk and deliberation, I will begin writing under a different author name. At least for this series. As I took my maiden name back in my real life, I am considering changing my Gemma name as well. I just don't feel right using something that isn't truly mine, you know? Because of the fact the Cedar River series has two books in a publisher's possession for a bit longer yet, it will be awhile before that change takes effect. However, my demons will be published under a new author name. This way, no one confuses my kinky series with my simple paranormal romances. Once I'm closer to finishing the series, I will post all the wonderful tidbits and how to find my new alter ego.

One more week until school starts back up and I have so much to get done. Declare a new major, pick up my text books, possibly get a 'real' job, make sure I have food in the house to toss into the crock pot, promote the new book, clean house, and mentally prepare for school. This month and a half off of classes has allowed me to become lazy and let things slide. Now, I've got one week of freedom left and I just want to throw caution to the wind. I want to dance barefoot, let my hair down, turn my music up and my self-consciousness down, I want be quiet enough to hear my heart beat, but loud enough to whisper my love to my world. But for now, I'll return to a world of fiction while my world is busy with life, family, and the stress of day to day living.

Have a blessed Sunday!

OMG!!!!

Well, I've been working on it and struggling with it, but today it happened...The Golden Dragon's Treasure is now available!

I made it before the Christmas deadline I had set for myself and I couldn't have done it without all the support from my beloved ones and my fans!

Currently, you are able to get every version you need at Smashwords. I will post other links as they become available.

Please...check out Brady and Silver's story! They have been a patient couple and they need to have their story read.

Just proofed the print copy this morning (12/23):https://www.createspace.com/5191646 

Here's the link to Amazon (12/24): http://www.amazon.com/Golden-Dragons-Treasure-Cedar-River/dp/1505696380/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1419447393&sr=8-5&keywords=The+golden+dragon%27s+treasure

My Inspirations

Inspiration for my stories come from a variety of things. It can be a song lyric, an image, a quote, or a dream. I do spend a lot of time looking through images I find on Facebook, Pinterest, and Google.

Now, I will not claim that I'm actually looking for images to inspire me, but every now and again, one will leap off the screen and send my mind whirling with a storyline.

In fact, that is how the YA book I'm working on came to be. I spotted a picture and the story simply came to me. There is so much to the story that I've put it on the back burner while I work on a different project, but it is still bubbling away. I'll share the picture once I'm ready to reveal the story to you.

Last night, a FB friend posted a pic. I sat and stared at the picture for the longest time. Usually, the stories begin from the female's point of view, but I have a feeling this one is going to be different. The picture caught my eye and there are about 5 different story possibilities running through my head. One will become more pronounced and that will be the man's story. My process is weird, but it is mine, so I trust it.

Natural Born Enemies began with the Celtic Thunder version of "Hallelujah!"

In fact, the entire story was written to the men from Celtic Thunder. There is absolutely no Celtic elements in the story itself, but the music made the characters come to life.

I've got four different stories I'm working on now. One had a Southern Rock soundtrack. Another has a Sinatra, Michael Buble, Chris Botti, and Harry Connick, Jr. soundtrack. Another one is all 80s Love Songs (don't ask because I have no idea where this came from) and my YA story is heavy on Celtic Woman, Celtic Thunder, and other Celtic artists.

My inspirations are just as vast as the stories I write. My Cedar River series may be all shifters, but each one is a person (in my mind) and has a uniqueness that is all their own. Each story comes from a different direction and that is what makes it special.

It Is Finished

If you follow my Facebook page, then you've heard the news: Book 3 in the Cedar River series is finished!!! I am currently going through and editing it so I can send it off to my lovely beta reader.

One of the changes I spoke of in a previous post is I'm going to self-publish this book. I want to be able to put out 4-6 books this year and with my publisher's schedule, I am unable to do that.

I found a cover artist who is brilliant. I've seen what she has in mind and it is crazy how she sees inside my mind! I love it and I hope you do, too.

I am taking a creative writing class this semester and I've made a new friend. He makes me smile because he is so full of questions. I hate talking about myself, but my books? Well, I'll chat away about them :) He asked me a question yesterday, "Do you celebrate?" I smiled. When I signed my first contract (over a year ago), my husband and I went out to dinner. With the 2nd contract, we had a nice dinner at home. With this one, (because the costs are coming out of our budget) we didn't do anything too special. However, I do have a book that has been taunting me since I got it. I promised myself I would finish the third book before I cracked the cover of it. It is still sitting there, teasing me, but I have to finish the edits (and my Algebra homework) before I can start it. 

Whose book is it, you ask? It's Ever After by Kim Harrison. I think I'm going to take a whole day and just read once the edits are done.

I've told you repeatedly how exciting my life is. LOL I think it is a testament to how unexciting my life is when the highlight includes a book, a soft bed, and 4 dogs to cuddle with. However, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

How do you celebrate a special accomplishment? Tell me about it.

Christmas in March

Today feels like Christmas Eve, my first date, my wedding day and winning the lottery all rolled into one GIANT ball.

Let me explain: At the age of 30, I made a list. It was a list of things I wanted to do before I reached 40 years of age. On that list were things like:

1) Fall in forever love- May 1992

2) Learn to say "no"- October 2004

3) Have children- 12/1998 (I just didn't realize my kids would be of the furry, four-legged variety.

4) Join a book group- July 2008

5) Go to a movie alone- May 2005

You get the point, right? Well, on this list is also the goal of publishing a book. Tomorrow (March 15) my dream comes true! It will be 2 months and 10 days before my 40th birthday.

Let me tell you something about the back story to Keeper of the Golden Dragon's Heart- I have been writing since I was probably 10 years old. I wrote the class poem for my senior class. I wrote a lot of poetry. Then, I tried my hand at stories. They were always contemporary romances. I've never shied away from sex in my stories, but I've also never considered myself to be extremely imaginative. Paranormal/urban fantasy authors have LOADS of imagination. I simply write what I know, good, wholesome, "normal".

Then, one day, it happened: I had a dream. I dreamt of golden dragons in flight, a shifter in every sort of animal, and a beautiful place that can't be described with mere words (I just hope I did it justice). I tried to ignore the voices in my head, but Anastasia (my heroine) would NOT be ignored. Her and I went round and round. I really didn't like this girl, but I sat down to write out the dream.

It came together and a book began to form. I felt my life falling out from under me, but I kept writing. Then, something happened. Bowie (my golden dragon hero) stepped in and began to tell me his side of things. It all came together and I sent it in. I had no delusions when I submitted it, but Leap of Faith Publishing sent me an e-mail with a contract. Not bad for someone who really had no intention of being a paranormal author, huh? (I love reading paranormal/urban fantasy. Please don't think I don't. This genre is all over my bookshelves. I just didn't think I could do it.)

As of today, I'm working on books 2, 3, 4 and 5's ideas are jotted down. Plus at least one spin-off.

 

So, if you will, please help me celebrate my Christmas in March.