No Such Thing as Coincidence

I have pondering a lot of things lately. Like why things have happened the way they have, why I took a left at Albuquerque instead of that right, why I work this horrific retail job, why I met the man with the charismatic smile, just the fun stuff in life, ya know?

I didn't encourage my ex-husband to take the job in Groton, Connecticut because I needed to make sure we couldn't fix what was broken. If we had moved there, well, things would definitely have been different. *G* And the man who lived in Groton had to live his life first.

I went back to school and moved to WI with my former friend because I had to learn to stand on my own two feet without help from anyone. I had to learn to believe in myself.
By going to the college that I chose, I met the man with the charismatic smile, who changed my life more than he will ever understand. He saw beauty where I could only see the ugliness, brilliance where I only saw stupidity, and hope where I only saw despair. And love beyond all compare.

My dearest and bestest friend told me that the reason I work the horrific retail job was to meet her, and I don't think she's wrong. Because I met her and my life changed for the better. We have this bond that is unreal some days. We feed off each other's emotions (good and bad) and share a wicked sense of humor. She's one of those people I would have forever missed had I never met her.

The horrific retail job also led me to the office job that I adore. One night, a customer walked in and changed my life. She took me from receptionist to office manager, giving me opportunities that I would never have anticipated. She allows me to shine and pushes me to be better.

Things have been happening lately that have me wondering if things will ever work out. I have been questioning if God/the universe/the fates will ever untangle this mess. I wonder why the things happening are happening and none of it makes sense to me. However, if this blog shows anything, it seems that the Powers that Be really do know what they're doing. I may have found the man with the charismatic smile in Groton, but we had to wait until we were both in Wisconsin first. Because I had to be here to find a horrific job that led me to my dearest friend and the job I adore. 

The people who arrive in your life are meant to be there. Whether it is a lesson, a reason, or a season, they are there to help you on this journey. After all, (and I heard this quote for the first time the other day) "We're all just walking each other home." (Quote by Ram Dass)

I Am Where I Am Meant to Be...

For years, I have carried this quote with me. It has been my mantra whenever I've found myself questioning my life.

Looking at my life, I had plans. By this age, I had intended to have children who I would be seeing off to college, attending weddings, big family holidays. I was going to be married and planning our retirement. I would be half owner of a house, driving a better vehicle than I am, and life would have come together.

Instead, I am renting my home. I'm the one in college working on my bachelor's, not my children. No weddings are being planned. Holidays are a bit more subdued than I imagined they would be.

It is as if I have just beginning to find myself at this age. I'm learning new ways to cook and enjoying new foods. I'm elevating my heat levels in my cooking and loving every bit of it. I'm dipping my toes back into the waters of literature that I have always loved. I am falling back in love with Chaucer and Hemingway. I walk across campus and sit in classes with kids. I'm learning from them and forming friendships with them. I won't go bar hopping or partying with them, but to sit and share ideas, I am all for that.

At this age, I expected I would be settled and content with my life. Instead, I am loving my life! Hell, I'm living my life!

I had these big plans for where I was going and how I would get there and who would be on this journey with me. However, as I have been told by my mother recently, God has other plans.